It comes from a place of love, but it can also undermine the relationship if these women allow it to echoes the thought: “Suddenly the problem isn’t, ‘I know you so well’, it’s, ‘I don’t know you at all’. In a long marriage, you’ve got the backstory, the front story, you’ve shared a story, maybe had children together, moved through the world together. There are all these shared events and there’s a kind of shorthand between you.” That old ease…